"Travel by train is saver" (sic) said the sign at Phetchaburi station, on the way to Bangkok.

The Thais seem to agree. Whole families, three generations, piled onto my sleeper train. Grannies lugged mysterious packages that never left their embrace, even while they slept. Children leaned precariously out of the windows, their heads surely about to be lopped off by a tree branch any moment now. Transvestites powdered their faces to a ghostly white while pistol-wielding military officers played cards. KTM's canteen served standard mamak stall fare like milo and mee goreng. The Thai railway canteen cooked western and oriental dishes, seafood, breakfast sets, and served liquor. Vichai, an effeminate canteen steward in high heels, even served tomyam soup to my seat.